Momento mori ♥

♥Disillusionment.

weather: still the dark dark night.

mood: rather uncomfortable.

good morning, lol.

alright, after this post, imma go bath.

and then i shall work on my script.

then off to bed.

tmr morning, i shall wake up early (I HOPE SO) and go for a run.

yup, i should. C:

anyway, th title today: usual night, unusual feeling.

awesome title right? (Y)

if you ever understand what i'm trying to say, that is.

well, he's online just now, and as usual we chatted.

but he didn't sound as enthusiastic as before.

like, he replied with one word answers.

long awkward pauses.

"hahahahaha" and then nth else.

that left me wondering, is he annoyed with me?

am i crapping too much?

or is he just busy, tired?

i feel upset tonight.

it's not tht feeling i usually have when i chat with him those prev nights.

i didn't feel relaxed when i talked with him just now.

i felt, tense and uncomfortable.

maybe it's just me, idk.

but still.

i enjoy th chatting moments we have.

they are long hourly sessions.

sometimes they are mind healing, sometimes just plain nonsense.

nvrtheless, i still like talking to him.

bcus his words always make sense, one way or another.

i feel that he is a rlly nice person.

i still don't understand why ppl detest him.

and why his shinai broke up with him. D:

he rlly love her alot, doesn't he?

even until now.

i've read his blog again and again and again.

and everytime i read, i'll hold back my tears.

knowing that i won't stand a chance.

knowing that he will never return my love.

knowing that he still loves his shinai.

"Till then, I will love you", those words tht shot right through my heart.

it's so, so painful reading it.

his love for her never did die.

and i guess i'll never be able to be his next love.

but it's enough, もういい。

this one sided love is good enough.

secretly loving someone can be blissful too.

even though i'm still hoping against hope that he will love me too.

but i guess, that's impossible.

and, in a few months' time, he'll not be in NP anymore.

he'll be in NS.

and i think i'm gonna miss him like mad.

all th night chats and crap talks.

damn it, i rlly feel like crying.

baka baka baka. D':

ARGH.

AND WHY DID I GO TO HER BLOG.

FUCK, SEE THE PHOTOS THEY TOOK.

DAMMIT. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT.

本当にバカ！！

kyaaaaaa!

Take my breath away Au revoir
this lady. I'm a cat with nine lives, but only one story to tell. Rebecca Lo. Singaporean and not proud of it. Ngee Ann Polytechnic student year 3. A3DA class 01; 3D Animation. NP JTC Taiko member aiming for Tenko. Anime lover. Rilakkuma fever. Purple madness. Hardcore Sixth Gun. \m/ In a mess.	replay. Rebecca Lo Create Your Badge
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Monday, July 18, 2011 ♥ -Usual night, unusual feeling- ♥Disillusionment. weather: still the dark dark night. mood: rather uncomfortable. good morning, lol. alright, after this post, imma go bath. and then i shall work on my script. then off to bed. tmr morning, i shall wake up early (I HOPE SO) and go for a run. yup, i should. C: anyway, th title today: usual night, unusual feeling. awesome title right? (Y) if you ever understand what i'm trying to say, that is. well, he's online just now, and as usual we chatted. but he didn't sound as enthusiastic as before. like, he replied with one word answers. long awkward pauses. "hahahahaha" and then nth else. that left me wondering, is he annoyed with me? am i crapping too much? or is he just busy, tired? i feel upset tonight. it's not tht feeling i usually have when i chat with him those prev nights. i didn't feel relaxed when i talked with him just now. i felt, tense and uncomfortable. maybe it's just me, idk. but still. i enjoy th chatting moments we have. they are long hourly sessions. sometimes they are mind healing, sometimes just plain nonsense. nvrtheless, i still like talking to him. bcus his words always make sense, one way or another. i feel that he is a rlly nice person. i still don't understand why ppl detest him. and why his shinai broke up with him. D: he rlly love her alot, doesn't he? even until now. i've read his blog again and again and again. and everytime i read, i'll hold back my tears. knowing that i won't stand a chance. knowing that he will never return my love. knowing that he still loves his shinai. "Till then, I will love you", those words tht shot right through my heart. it's so, so painful reading it. his love for her never did die. and i guess i'll never be able to be his next love. but it's enough, もういい。 this one sided love is good enough. secretly loving someone can be blissful too. even though i'm still hoping against hope that he will love me too. but i guess, that's impossible. and, in a few months' time, he'll not be in NP anymore. he'll be in NS. and i think i'm gonna miss him like mad. all th night chats and crap talks. damn it, i rlly feel like crying. baka baka baka. D': ARGH. AND WHY DID I GO TO HER BLOG. FUCK, SEE THE PHOTOS THEY TOOK. DAMMIT. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT. 本当にバカ！！ kyaaaaaa! ♥それだけ。 @ 12:12 AM