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Take my breath away Au revoir
this lady. I'm a cat with nine lives, but only one story to tell. Rebecca Lo. Singaporean and not proud of it. Ngee Ann Polytechnic student year 3. A3DA class 01; 3D Animation. NP JTC Taiko member aiming for Tenko. Anime lover. Rilakkuma fever. Purple madness. Hardcore Sixth Gun. \m/ In a mess.	replay. Rebecca Lo Create Your Badge
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escapes. Blogger♥ Li Wei (: the GazettE official site♥ Alice Nine official site♥ Spiv States official site♥ THE KIDDIE official site♥ MUCC official site♥ MIYAVI official site♥ Shou/Alice Nine♥ Hiroto/Alice Nine♥ Jun/Spiv States♥ Satoshi/Girugamesh♥ Rilakkuma official site♥ No one else.	convos.
Monday, May 14, 2012 ♥ i like Tristan. yes, i genuinely like him. and then, it's the same thing all over again. i can tell, he doesn't like me at all. but being me, i cling onto hopes. even false, slightest ones. i realized, i like him not bcus of his academic performance. nor is it bcus of his talent in Taiko. it's not bcus of his looks, and he doesn't have a very good sense of humor. he isn't free all the time, and the fact that he is often not around makes it such that he might not have time for relationships. it kinda reminded me of the bad memories a little. but i just.. like him bcus it's him. i like him bcus whenever i need him, he is there somehow. not just for me, he is there for anybody who needs him. he has a passion for Taiko, i believe i don't have to explain this any further. he cares about the Taiko family, every member in it. he might not be very strong, but i still love his back. hugging his back makes me feel secured, that same sense of security i felt previously. when i put my head on his shoulder, i felt comfortable and calm. surprisingly, for someone with "heart murmur", i can still hear his heartbeat through his shoulder (笑). (: or maybe.. Tristan kinda acts as a substitution of him, at least for me. that's immature thinking, i know. but maybe i am feeling this way. the feelings for him is still here, but i don't see a point for them to stay this strong. he is done with me, why am i still holding on? still, i think i really really like Tristan. i feel happy when he is here, whether is it for training or camp or outing. it's a different kind of joy compared to when i am with Lw. Lw feels more like a friend to me, a very very good friend. guess i friendzoned him but.. it just feels different. i should put it this way: i don't have the urge to hold his hand, but i want to hold Tristan's hand. the kind of like i have for him is really the i-want-to-marry-you kind of like. but then again, the chance of him actually liking me in the same way is.. 0.0001%. OTL i feel so troubled now. under such situation can i use the privileged hotline otousan gave me? i really wanna just die. btw, i'm down with fever (again) and cough. i need my cough to recover asap, or not my asthma will work up again. ♥それだけ。 @ 11:46 AM