Take my breath away
Au revoir
this lady.
I'm a cat with nine lives, but only one story to tell.
Rebecca Lo.
Singaporean and not proud of it.
Ngee Ann Polytechnic student year 3.
A3DA class 01; 3D Animation.
NP JTC Taiko member aiming for Tenko.
Anime lover.
Rilakkuma fever.
Purple madness.
Hardcore Sixth Gun. \m/
In a mess.
replay.
Create Your Badge
Twitter
escapes.
Blogger♥
Li Wei (:
the GazettE official site♥
Alice Nine official site♥
Spiv States official site♥
THE KIDDIE official site♥
MUCC official site♥
MIYAVI official site♥
Shou/Alice Nine♥
Hiroto/Alice Nine♥
Jun/Spiv States♥
Satoshi/Girugamesh♥
Rilakkuma official site♥
No one else.
convos.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013 ♥
wow.
it's been a whole year since i last blogged.
times when i start to blog again, things prolly don't look too good.
yup, got myself yet into another tangle.
which will most likely lead me to heartbreaks.
oh remind me how much i hate that feeling..
but it's just, i fell in love again.
it is going to hurt like fuck, but the pain is addicting.
i really hate this, and i really hate myself.
everytime i love, i give it my all.
it always ends up with me getting hurt so deeply.
scars all over my heart, tears run dry.
what do i do now?
look at the mess i got myself into.
Jeremy,
if you're reading this, please understand.
just like how you can only convey yourself through texts, this was how i used to be.
this blog was once a place for my truest feelings.
a communication medium for me and my first ex.
i relied on my blog so much that i grew uncomfortable when i spoke with him face to face.
whenever i felt upset or unhappy, i would write it on my blog.
at first he was fine with me doing that.
but eventually, he couldn't take it anymore.
he said he couldn't understand me.
he had to go to my blog to see what went on in my head.
everything was going the wrong way for us.
i tried to salvage it, i tried holding onto it.
i changed myself, i became an entirely different person.. just to make him stay.
in the end, nothing worked.
he left me in a wreck, just like that.
i didn't know where and how to pick myself up.
i took 5 months to recover from that heart break, reminding myself never to trust another.
i know myself better than anyone.
but sometimes i cannot understand what my heart wants.
despite being hurt like this time and time again, i still want to love.
i want to be loved.
i always end up trusting people.
and then i get hurt, and the vicious cycle repeats.
at one point in time i really wanted to stop believing in love.
but then i met you.
you attracted me in a different way.
i found myself being able to smile so easily around you.
but i guess, we went a little too fast?
and i stepped into your comfort zone didn't i..?
i know myself better than anyone.
i'm manipulative, i can be assertive at times.
i can have some pretty crazy moodswings.
sometimes i am very sensitive.
i have a lot of flaws.. maybe i'm not that much of a girl with a wonderful personality.
are you disappointed?
it's okay, i'm disappointed with myself too.
but one thing is that, i really love you.
i'm devoted to just one guy, and that's you.
i admit, i feel a little neglected.
texting intervals yea but.. i really do want to talk to you.
that's how i got interested in you, through talking.
but you seemed to be cold nowadays..
it's starting to show, right?
i'm just afraid of you leaving me.. like he did.
i'm really afraid, i don't want to lose you.
i understand, i will give you all the time you need.
don't worry, i won't leave you.
bcus i will never want to hurt you.
instead i want to warm your heart and melt the cold away slowly.
愛してる。
ずっと。
♥それだけ。
@ 3:27 PM
@ 3:27 PM